Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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