Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
