just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If I die, sorry about rent.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
