I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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