k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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