Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
