tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize