is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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