Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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