There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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