Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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