pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
