yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
