Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
