She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
