She said her name was "party"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
