You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize