therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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