The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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