Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
