I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
