Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
