I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
