Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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