a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
