ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
