New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
