This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
