I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
