Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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