I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
