OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
