Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
