this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
