I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
