watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
