I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
