you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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