how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
