What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
