Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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