Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize