Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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