Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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