so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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