we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm both gender and math confused
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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