my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
this is an emotional support booty call
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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