I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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