I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
