Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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