Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
