so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
