I am puke
I just made out with a guy for $7.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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