You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
