Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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